Yet another journal skin change, I know... but it's good to change skins according to my mood and feelings. It makes me feel true to myself. Hehe.

So... some of you guys and gals may not know about this, but I had my imaginary husband Optimus Primal die in a shuttle explosion back in January 31st and fly to the Matrix. The reason? I want my RL love to be my imaginary love, too.

It felt just right. I'm loyal to my fiancé in RL and, while I haven't been imagining anything strong with Primal for years, I didn't feel comfortable with having him still in my imaginary life. "But that's not the real 'you'!", some may object. Oh, that's true, but while Aurora Luana Prime is an imaginary alter-ego of Luana Spinetti, emotionally she still *is* me; and even though my fantasy is not pathological - and therefore I can distinguish RL from FL (fictional life) - I feel it more correct to my fiancé to have him and only him as my love, both in imaginary and real life.

Besides, Simone literally adores my fictional family, so he'd be a good daddy to ALL of my kids. Hehe.

What about Primal?

He will stay in my memories, and our life together in imagination will certainly guide my current life as an engaged woman, and my future life as a wife to Simone. Because being with Primal taught me how to love, how to take care of a family, and the value of sacrifice and abnegation for the greater good of the family.

In an diary entry of 1999, at age 14, I wrote that Primal wouldn't probably be my husband forever, but he would stay in my memories later in life, when I found my real love, and that I felt sure my future love would be just like Primal.

Well--- that really happened. Simone IS Optimus Primal in RL, in my life. He loves me, protects me, has a sweet paternal side that makes his eyes brighten at the sight of babies and little children, he wants me as the mother of his babies, he and I share deep intellectual interests that make our life exciting and filled with projects, we support each other and complement each other's talents and share the little joy of life (watching movies together, have a romantic lunch once in a while, etc.).

And I'm HAPPY, as much as and even more than I was in imaginary life all these years.

And I owe all of this to Optimus Primal, leader of the Maximals and legendary Transformer. <3



P.S. I'm going to draw a chibi-style (or funny-style) comic panel as soon as I have free time, and I'll post it in one of these journals. The panel will show an event I wrote in a personal story back in 1998, at age 13, when I first fell in love with Primal. Only a hint-- it's gonna be cute!